Staying Safe

Kelsey Smith, a 2 week High School Graduate from Kansas, was abducted Saturday night from a Target Parking lot while running a quick errand. Target surveillance shows her walking into Target, walking out, and then shows a man shove her in the passenger seat of her own car and driving away.

An intense search was mounted for Kelsey by her family and her community. Her family said she was a feisty girl and is surprised she didn't basically, "kick that guys ass" when he shoved her in her car.

I hadn't heard anything about this until yesterday morning on the radio. The DJ was discussing her clothing. She was wearing a pink tank top and a pair of black cheer shorts. He stated that no one deserved or asks for any type of crime by what they are wearing, but suggested that parents warn their teens about their attire.

What if her outfit caught the man's eye who abducted her? This to me was very thought provoking. As a woman I wanted to revolt and say "NO, I can wear whatever I want!!"

But you can't. Well you can, but there can be consequences.

We all have free will in this country and can wear whatever we want. But young girls, pre-teens, and teens need to have a dose of reality that there are horrible, sick, twisted people in this world. That is the constant we can not change.

What we can change is how we present ourselves when we are in public. When we travel alone. When we are running into Target to buy our new boyfriends a birthday gift. Just like Kelsey Smith was doing Saturday night.

I will fully admit. She could have been 65 years old, with a walker and wearing the latest polyester fashion and still could be abducted. There is no telling what sets off the sick people of the world who abduct, rape, torture, and kill.

My point of all of this is to remind all of us girls, teens, and women about being safe. To ensure we do not inadvertently put ourselves in danger or make ourselves more venerable.

Each day we go about our lives on our daily routines. Sometimes on auto pilot. Like driving along and thinking, wow, I don't even remember that last stretch of road!

That can be the case when we are going into work, going to lunch, running errands, checking the mail, walking into the gym, etc. My thought is, when you are on your own, alone, have a small child or children with you there are things you need to remember to ensure your safety.

Things we don't think about because no one ever assumes they will be abducted in a Target after running in for a small gift. No one. Not me, not you. But it does happen. It is reality for some. I am just hoping these tips I found on Safety for Women.com will remind us just to be a bit more aware. Remember our safety is priority number one... And not to forget this in the normal day to day hub bub.

These are tips I found helpful, and I hope they find you the same.

General:
If you see or sense problems on your way, just change your route and - prepare to run or defend yourself

Do not wear conspicuous jewelry when you are walking on the streets alone

Do not hitchhike, use buses or taxis instead

Do not act or look like an easy target - look confident!

Most "fights" are won before they start, and aggressors will back down if you maintain eye contact and are not intimidated by them.

Public transport:
Remember, there is usually safety in numbers. Wait in a coffee shop or in a well lit area for the public transport to arrive

Don't choose the window seat as you may be "blocked in" by a potential assailant; always choose an aisle seat for quick exit

After peak hours, always choose the train compartment carrying the most passengers or the compartment directly behind the train driver

On buses, sit behind the driver or next to the door for quick exit.

Motor vehicles:
Danger areas are stepping out of your car either at home or in isolated areas, and also walking to your car

Always approach your vehicle with the keys ready

Windows should be up and doors locked even when driving to avoid unwanted passengers at intersections. (Please note that this conflicts with quick entering and exit procedures in the event of an accident)

Always check your car before entering

Never leave your car unlocked, even for the few minutes it may take you to return a video, buy milk and so forth. Attackers have been known to lie in wait for such an opportunity.

Never get into a car even if someone is pointing a knife or a handgun at you from inside. Just start to run away from the car screaming at the same time. It's much more likely that he will drive away to find an easier target than attacking or killing you. But if you get into the car, he has a much better opportunity to drive to a quiet place and start to abuse you and later maybe kill you.

Never pull your car over from a quiet road even if someone drives alongside your car pointing at the tires etc. Always continue driving to a well-lit and crowded area before exiting your car. The problem might be a bluff and the driver wants you to stop at the side of the road to "help" you without a reason.

Always be alert in parking lots, specially when it's dark. If you are afraid, don't be too shy to ask someone to escort you to your car. Between cars and inside cars, it's easy for someone to hide and wait until an distracted person comes along.

Taxis:
Always check the identification of the driver (usually located near the visor) and ensure that it matches the driver

Be wary of cars with central locking

Don't sit behind the driver as it may be easy for the driver to lock the rear passenger door - always choose the adjacent seat

Always order taxis so that the driver can be traced

Avoid flagging taxis from the street

Walkers / joggers:
If you have car trouble and are walking to look for help, always walk against the traffic so that you can see what is coming

If shadowed by a car, run back in the direction from which you came. If you continue in the same direction, you will make it easy for the shadowing to continue

Don't use a "walkman" when walking in isolated areas at any time

Regularly change your routines - I like this one. Good idea...

Mark out houses at intervals on each route you take that may be used as "safe houses" in the event of attack such as shops or houses that you know to be occupied by a friend or acquaintance. Try to incorporate these houses every time you vary your route

Be alert at all times - This is where I falter. I zone out. I think being alert of surroundings can be any one's best protection.

Don't presume that because your area has been "safe" thus far, that it will continue to be so.

Public phone boxes:
When you are calling from a telephone box, after dialing the numbers always turn around so that you have your back to the phone and may see what is coming. You will then be able to tell the person to whom you are speaking that you may be in trouble and you may be able to use the weight of the phone as a weapon.The door of a telephone box could be used to wedge in the limbs of the attacker.

Clothing:
Think about your clothing - where will it be worn? Will you be going out after work? Get into the habit of leaving restrictive clothing and shoes for those occasions when you are certain that you have no reason to anticipate danger, such as large crowds, being picked up after work or going out and so forth.

Choose a wardrobe which maximizes freedom of movement. The best self defense techniques will not help you if you cannot run away because of tight skirts or shoes with straps and high heels. In these situations, it will be necessary to disable your attacker to ensure you are not followed unless you have some means of a quick exit such as a motor vehicle. This places additional, unnecessary pressure on you to be successful. Further, if you focus too much attention on disabling you opponent, you may not be sufficiently aware of an additional threat to yourself

These are good tips I found. I have also been told when you arrive home or when you go out to your car. Stop, and look around. Especially if you live in an apartment or are in a parking lot. Attackers are less likely to approach a person who is aware of what is going on. They want to catch you off guard. At your most venerable.

The point of all of this is, I want everyone to be safe. It is a beautiful wonderful world out there. Full of possibilities and hope. But it is also a harsh, cruel world for some. If there are just a few things that we can do to help avoid what Kelsey Smith went through and now what her family is going through, then isn't it worth it?

Anything is better than this...

Kelsey Smith's body was found about 1:30 p.m. across the state line near
Grandview, Mo., about 20 miles east of the abduction site in Overland Park, Kan.

God Bless her and her Family.

May you all be safe. I would rather spend days reveling in the world's beauty than in its dangers.